Confessions

The day before Mardi Gras, I cut out sodas, desserts, and other bad stuff from my diet. I remember this because on the day OF Mardi Gras, my mom called me and said, "If you want, pig out today and start your diet the next day, just like all the good Catholics do." Which is precisely why I started my "diet" (though I really hate to use that word) the day before.

ANYWAY. The upcoming Easter holiday reminds me that it's been a really long time since I sipped the sweet nectar of a Coca Cola, indulged in the gummy goodness of a Swedish Fish, hunkered down with a hunk of chocolate, swirled in the creamy cold of some ice cream. In fact, I can count my transgressions on one hand and a pinky: a cupcake, a slice of Baked Alaska, two mojitos, 2 beers, 2 vegan chocolate chip cookies, and a partridge in a pear tree. Not bad for forty days of trying to stop my bad habits cold turkey, right?

THEN WHY HAVEN'T I LOST ANY WEIGHT?

(Sorry, I'm in an antagonistic mood today--there are two people in our office today with ridiculous hacking coughs, and I'm very sound sensitive, and...well it's enough to make me psychotic.)

Have I mentioned that I've been going to the gym three to five times a week every week since the day before Mardi Gras as well? And...have I also mentioned that for the past three weeks I've been going more like five to six times a week because I have a ridiculous crush on some guy that I've eye fucked twice in the weight room for no longer than 10 seconds each? I feel slightly guilty that this is the reason I'm going to the gym so frequently (and that I'm applying perfume before each outing as well, and actually changing my gym socks), but whatever gets me there, right?

Still, my weight stays within .5 of a pound from where it was a week ago, two weeks ago, three weeks ago. I'm trying to be really honest with myself about what I eat and where I slip up, but the truth is that I've really been going gangbusters with this new plan, and I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. Maybe someone out there can help. Here's what a typical day of eating and exercising looks like for me:

BREAKFAST
1 packet instant oatmeal (unsweetened)
1 cup of sliced strawberries, on top of said oatmeal
1 bottle of water / perrier

LUNCH
Salad Nicoise with seared ahi tuna
Lemonade

DINNER
Whole wheat pasta, sauteed with chicken in olive oil
Salad with red wine dressing
Knudsen's Sparkling Apple Cider
-OR-
Rice Crackers
Cheddar Cheese
Red Delicious Apple
Sparkling Water

GYM WORKOUT
-3o minutes elliptical--working the glutes
-500 crunches
-50 bicep curls (at low weight)
-100 side crunches
-50 shoulder presses (at low weight)
-100 leg presses at 80 lbs

I should also mention that I've completely cut out snacking. Any suggestions or critiques are greatly encouraged. Since I do FEEL better about my body, and think that I can see results, I'm not completely downtrodden that my numbers aren't shrinking. But still, it's one more piece of tangible evidence that I'm doing my body good that would be nice to have. Also, to know the name of that guy at the gym...