I started really and truly cleaning up my eating and fitness at the beginning of this past summer. The semester had just ended. I'd just finished acting in a show at school. I was emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted and had really let myself go. I felt crappy, pissy, ugly, and like I didn't look good in any of my outfits (this was definitely the worst side-effect of my over-eating). Being in a production gave me excuse to eat at 11:00 at night, right before I went to bed, or snack on unfulfilling things throughout the day. I also was having trouble fitting exercise into my life. It was not a happy time at all.
I came home for summer vacation completely determined to revamp my body and my self-image. The whole process was actually a lot easier than I'd expected--I think this was probably because I was living at home and didn't have the temptation of going out and drinking, partying, and eating crappy food at 2:00 in the morning. I exercised nearly every day, ate hearty, nutritious meals, and spent the majority of my time outside, in the clean, fresh air of Branchville. I came back to school a revamped, confident, healthy person. I was glowing, inside and out (I got a really good tan over the summer, which helped).
I maintained my healthy eating and exercising pretty well over the course of my first semester and throughout winter vacation. I had some slip-ups and ate late at night more often, but I was still doing pretty damn well. Then, this semester, I was cast in the show HAIR. Although I didn't fall completely off the wagon, being in a show again really changed my habits. I only was finding time to exercise about once or twice a week and was definitely over-eating (and not the right things).
Anyway, to make a very long story a bit shorter, after a week back in New Jersey for Spring Break, I've come back to California with a renewed sense of determination--both in my quest to be a wholly healthy person and in my desire to be the most well-rounded actress I can possibly be. And though those two goals may not seem related, I really think they are. When I'm taking the best care of myself that I can, I know that I'm more mentally and emotionally capable and confident. And then that's where the joy of acting starts....
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We all must deal with the fact that between the nature of our society and the nature of human frailty, it's hard as hell to eat as clean as we know we should, or to get enough exercise, or to be the people we want to be. Number One: forgive yourself and understand that everyone falls off the wagon. Number Two: when you do stumble, pick yourself up RIGHT AWAY and keep moving forward. Don't think that now you have to start all over--tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteWe'd probably all agree that eating junk helps us stuff our bad feelings about ourselves or helps us cope with the curves life throws our way. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't, but it definitely doesn't do anything positive for our bodies. And since more and more research points toward the strong connection between what we eat and how we feel, it would be BIG if women re-thought the quick-fix of eating to feel better about ourselves.
So quit picking on yourself BUT don't make any excuses. Come clean and say, "I'm eating this box of cookies because I ______________. Just as folks say praying out loud is powerful, so is talking to yourself. Writing things down is also powerful. But when you allow negative words to go round and round inside your head without bringing them forward in a tangible way, they begin to define you. Trust me. If you're not ready to face things squarely, at least take it on faith that by sticking to a REALLY clean diet and moving around more, YOU WILL clear your head, crank up your energy levels, and gain the confidence you need to move forward.
Of course, there are a lot of folks who say they aren't stuffing anything, that they're eating the sauteed pork loin or the baked brie or the cheesecake simply because these foods taste great. I believe that this is a matter of education. Those foods taste great to us because a part of our society says we're really livin' when we eat that way. And if that's all we feed ourselves, that's what excites our tastebuds. But both science and instinct tell us these foods don't encourage life, that they actually encourage disease and premature death.
It takes about three weeks to change a person's tastes and to break bad habits. Once your body gets used to enjoying the sugar in a peach or the carbs in oatmeal, that other stuff tastes like what it is: too sweet, too fatty, too salty, too life-less. And the more educated you are about health and nutrition, the harder it gets to put unhealthy foods in your mouth. Begin to connect the dots, believe that every bite DOES matter, and it will all fall into place.